The title is pretty self-explanatory, but yeah…I have mixed feelings on this.
I went to visit my high school music program last Friday around lunch time, and I just wanted to pop-in with a friend and say hi to people since I wouldn’t be able to see them on Graduation day (today). When I came to visit though, I ended up doing a few small tasks like finding the missing score that was lost for 2 days (which I found within 5 mins of me looking) and grading some theory tests (I got through a whole stack of 20 tests with no answer key). After I finished grading that pile, I handed to my former director, and her response was, “Oh my god! You finished all of it?? Are you sure you don’t want to be a teacher?”. And her question got to me so hard that I went home contemplating my entire academic career for two hours.
Well, my original plan before entering college was to Double-Major in Music Education and Music Performance, but I backed out of Music Education because I wanted to focus on my oboe playing for once. When I dropped out of Music Education it sort of left me in a panic and there was this empty feeling inside that I needed to fill. So, right now I’m working on adding Music History as a major to complement my passion of Music Librarianship.
However, I think there’s still this urge to want to teach people about music and be able to just spread awareness to people about how music has so many benefits to the human race. I remember having so much fun being able to lead a section and having little instances here and there where I could share my passion with my peers about what small piece of music really means to me and guiding them to find that same passion. I remember standing in front of an ensemble and just conducting them through a piece of music. Teaching is special to me, but I don’t know if there’s a way where I could follow my dreams of being a performer can go well with teaching a group of students. Being a high school director or middle school director is a full-time job that wouldn’t allow me to play with an orchestra. But, performing full-time wouldn’t help either if I wasn’t able to express what music means to me through different mediums.
I did look into it after I was able to just think for two hours straight. I searched online if there were ways where I could teach without having to get a degree in education, in which there were. I remember a former mentor of mine in the science field once said to me that I would most likely end up teaching at some point in my life. I resisted at first, but I think I’ll accept it when the time comes. I think that once I learn my skills and put them through years of performing then I’ll share it with the next generation of musicians to use and evolve.